Why I Love You
by We Will Avenge
Summary: Saying "I love you" is a task many people are unprepared for. Finn belongs to that assortment of people. Love is so much more dangerous when death is always so near. Hella fluffy. [Stormpilot]
1. Avoiding Poe

"Rey!"

The scavenger jumped, torn from her meditation session at the sound of Finn's urgency. She let out a nearly inaudible yelp, and then scowled, whipping around to her friend.

"Rey, you have to help me!" he said, gasping for air a little. Clearly he had been on the move for awhile.

"You gave me a heart attack!" she replied from the floor

"Sorry," Finn apologized quickly. "Please, I need you to let me hide in here."

She blinked. "Let you-?"

"Please, there's not much time, I just need to-"

From the outside of Rey's quarters came a muffled knock, and a voice. "There's no escape!" it taunted.

"Damn it." Finn cringed and threw himself in the closet. "I'm not here. I never was here."

"I'm not going to lie for you," she said, standing up. He didn't blame her; lies were unbecoming of a Jedi.

"Then don't! Just don't tell him anything." Finn closed the door.

Rey raised an eyebrow and moved to the door. The door opened with a swish, and she gave a grin to the new company. Poe Dameron smiled sweetly back at her, glancing into the room beyond.

"Hey," he said with a nod, by way of greeting. "Have you seen Finn?"

"I thought he was with you," she dodged the question with the innocent tilt of her head. "Is he avoiding you?" she said knowingly, dropping just enough hints to keep a conspicuous air.

"He's here, isn't he?" Poe asked. His smile was slightly more sly.

The scavenger grimaced a little, desperate to keep playing both sides of this situation. "Maybe," she said with a shrug. "Might I ask why you need him?"

"Three-month anniversary. He thought he could escape it."

Rey smiled. "Quite the anniversary. Well, as long as you aren't planning to sell his kidneys to an outer rim market…"

Inwardly, she wondered why someone so compatible with Poe would want to hide from him, especially on an anniversary. Most likely, the the ex-stormtrooper had forgotten about it and felt bad enough to want to escape. It didn't sound like something he'd do, however.

"Where's he hiding?" inquired the pilot, dropping his voice into conspierial levels.

She backed away to let him through. "Closet," she whispered.

From said closet, Finn scoffed. "You. Traitor," his muffled voice barked in disappointed monotone.

Poe swung the closet door open, and Finn immediately made a run for it, only to be grabbed by the waist in mid-flight. Poe pulled the ex-stormtrooper back with a victorious grin.

"Ha! Gotcha!" he said.

"Ah! Poe!" Finn yelped in between small laughs, his voice nearly drowned out by Poe's giddy laughter. He struggled helplessly against the pilot's embrace. "Gah! Not again!"

Finn attempted another lunge at freedom, but Poe tightened his arms around his captive and dragged him to the floor with a thud. The two thrashed around on the floor until Poe pinned significant other to the ground with his arms above his head.

Rey sighed, shaking her head. "When I told you to get a room, I didn't mean _mine_ , you know."

Poe ignored her and grinned at his captive, pressing their foreheads together.

"P-Poe!" he said quickly, struggling underneath him. "Don't- don't do it!" he warned. His eyes flicked to Rey, then back to Poe, and he dropped his voice, as if she wasn't standing five feet away. "... _Rey's_ watching!"

"So?" inquired the Resistance pilot with a sneaky smile. "You know what you have to do to make me stop," he teased, with voice equal parts playful and sultry.

Finn grit his teeth nervously and looked back at him, silent for a moment.

Rey almost didn't ask, but the pause stretched on long enough for her curiosity to get the better of her.

"W… what exactly does he have to do?" she questioned, raising an eyebrow and turning her head slightly. She leaned back slightly, trying not to be too nosy about it.

Poe sat up and turned to her. "Oh, he just has to- ahh!"

Finn saw his chance and took it in a heartbeat, twisting out of Poe's grip, and was gone in a flash, leaving the pilot flat on his back. Cat and mouse was the kind of game Finn would set up and Poe would play, from what the she-Padawan knew.

The pilot sat up again with a chuckle. "Damn!" he murmured, smiling despite the turn of events.

"Sorry," Rey said with a flash of a sheepish smile.

"It's alright," he returned, "I'll get him next time. Intrepid hunter Poe Dameron is back on the case. Thanks for the help."

He strolled out, ambling easily after his boyfriend.

Rey closed the door after him and smiled, laughing to herself. "Poor Finn… he doesn't stand a _chance_."

* * *

General Organa blinked and stared for a few seconds in confused and mildly concerned silence before asking any of the many questions she had. From his position wedged underneath the Millennium Falcon in the most awkward fashion possible, Finn looked back, glancing behind her.

"Why?" she asked.

"I'm not even here," he replied in a hushed tone. "And if Poe asks, say I'm out on the runway or something."

"Hiding from him, huh? I've seen _that_ one before," Princess Leia said reminiscently with an amused chuckle. "And since when did hiding from Dameron ever work? He's going to find you, you know."

"I know, just have to keep this up for another few hour or so. He'll have to give up eventually." He shifted his position so that he was slightly better hidden.

General Organa continued with another question. "Why exactly are you hiding from him? You two didn't have a fight, did you?" she gave him a serious look. "You better not have broken that poor guy's heart- hurt him and you go through me."

Finn blinked in surprise. "What? No, no, of course not," he said. "Look, I'll be honest," he said, taking a deep breath, "it's… today's our three month anniversary since our first date, and…" he trailed away.

"...and you forgot about it," she finished for him, her expression an odd but fitting mixture of pity and hysterical amusement. She laughed. "Oh, honey, you are so _screwed_!"

"Uh, yes! That's it! That's exactly what," he said quickly.

"But if I don't squeal on you, his BB-Unit will, trust me."

Finn briefly wondered what it would take to bribe BB-8 into staying quiet.

"I'm working on that," he said.

A flash of orange moved in the corner of his eye, and he pushed himself back into hiding. Leia turned, returning to her work inconspicuously as Poe approached.

He took a moment to catch his breath. "General Organa," he said respectfully, despite the two were close. "Have seen Finn around? Last I heard he was out here."

"Nope," she said casually, observing some data on a monitor.

"I saw him on the cameras," Poe said. "He was here, I know it."

"I'm not saying anything."

"Please, Leia, I need you to be a snitch!"

She ignored him.

"Fine. I bet BB-8 will help me. My droid could track a ball of tinfoil across the galaxy. He's got the best sense of direction there is!"

Not even two seconds after he said this, BB-8 came rolling speedily across the platform, ramming clumsily into Poe Dameron's legs and flying end over end into the Millennium Falcon.

"I'm sure he does," was all General Organa said. His exaggeration spoke for itself.

Poe sighed and turned to leave, motioning BB-8 to follow him.

BB-8 chirped imperatively, and Poe whipped around. "Where?"

The droid whistled a second time, extending a small prong from its spherical body to gesture to Finn's hiding place. That was all it took for the Pilot to pounce upon him, and Finn protested briefly before the wind was knocked out of him.

And once more, he found himself staring into Poe's glittering brown eyes. For a second, he was captivated, and stopped contending the attack, before he remembered that he was supposed to be fleeing in dread.

The rebel pilot dug his thumbs into Finn's sides, forcing giggles and cries of mercy from him that didn't help to cover his partial embarrassment. He squirmed under Poe's grasp, doing his best to ignore the fact that the leader of the rebellion _herself_ was standing _right there_ , watching him fail to escape Poe's vicious tickling.

General Organa laughed. "It looks like you're off the hook for now, Finn."

"Come on," Poe said, smiling that radiant smile, "say it!"

"I… Uh, I-" he stuttered in response.

The stormtrooper twisted, with much less desperation this time, and looked to Leia for some support, but she was already walking away, the flat monitor in hand. There was no way out of this one.

Poe let him up, and the two sat shoulder to shoulder, tilted towards each other. The pilot slung an arm around the trooper and moved his face a bit closer.

Finn took a deep breath. "Poe, I…" he trailed away. Their lips were almost touching, but his gaze was angled downward. All he could focus on was the fluttering in his stomach, and it was not the beautiful kind. It was the apprehensive type, the type he hated himself for feeling.

"Yeah?" Poe responded playfully.

The trooper exhaled in surrender, closing his eyes and turning away. " _Poe…_ "

The pilot's smile faded and he recoiled slightly in surprise. "You… you _do_ wanna say it… right?"

FN-2187 sighed, gently moving away. "It's just… I don't know what…"

He suddenly imagined the horrible expression that must have been on Poe's face. A mix of sadness and concern, with shock mixed in.

He couldn't actually bring himself to look, but he turned and quickly pecked him on the cheek. "I'm sorry!" Finn blurted before scrambling up and darting away.

Dameron remained, his eyes glued absently in Finn's direction even after the trooper had disappeared. He was left in confused silence for only a moment before Chewbacca stepped down out of the Millennium Falcon. The Wookie looked first to the direction Finn had run, and then to Poe, staring at the suddenly-distant pilot for a moment. Then he lifted up his welding mask and gave an inquisitive howl.

Poe blinked, composing himself quickly. "Oh- yeah, yeah; I'm good. I'm good," he said, trying to keep his cool.

Chewbacca gave another, shorter howl as Poe got to his feet.

"Yeah, it's just a little game we're playing," he explained. "Cat-and-Mouse kind of thing. He's not a great hider, but _damn_ he can run."

That smile was back as he motioned BB-8 to follow. The droid rolled out from under the infamous ship and tottered after him.

Chewbacca gave a condoling, somewhat fawnish growl, and Poe stopped walking, his smile fading once more.

A second later, he gave a weak chuckle. "Yeah… I like him a lot, too," he said softly, not turning to look at the Wookie.

He trudged off, BB-8 in tow.

Chewbacca wondered briefly if it was something he said, then shrugged and returned to his work.

* * *

 **Chapter 2 (final) coming soon. Thank you for reading.**


	2. Wherever This Goes

Finn let out a heavy sigh, his second the last 5 minutes.

He had come looking for Poe on the runway, but for once it seemed the pilot hadn't come to his X-Wing in his spare time. Peaceful dusk was setting on the Rebel Base, and most of the X-Wing teams had moved inside by now, save for a few struggling to pinpoint a problem in their vehicles. But they were far on the other side of the runway, so Finn had found a place to sit on the wing of Poe's ship with his back to the body of the vehicle.

They used to sit here sometimes and talk. That was just before all this ecstatic but confusing romance began.

Trying to spark some inspiring thought to fix this disaster, he looked at the sunset. It was somewhat underwhelming, the light blocked out by heavy rainclouds in the distance.

And he was an idiot.

Finn grimaced and thumped the back of his head against the metal several times. "Stupid. Stupid. _Stupid!"_ he said in-sync with his self-punishment.

There was a small noise in the cockpit, a soft clatter. Finn was expecting that to happen sooner or later.

"You're already up here, aren't you?" he murmured without turning his head.

There was a pause. "Yeah," came Poe's soft response.

"How long?" Finn asked, his eyes still on the horizon.

"About two hours and twenty-three minutes, give or take… I had a feeling you'd come here, so I waited…"

Finn was a little stunned. He turned his head slightly towards the front of the ship. "You waited here two and a half hours?"

"Well, I wanted to be with you, but I didn't know if that's what _you_ wanted..." his voice was slow, a little shaky. It dawned on Finn that he'd never actually seen Poe cry before.

Finn closed his eyes and thumped his head against the X-Wing once more. "Just because I'm too much of a coward to say three simple words."

Poe climbed out of the cockpit and moved over to join him. Finn resisted the urge to run. He couldn't run away from this conversation anymore.

He only got a brief look at the pilot's expression. It was indeed sad, but also understanding as put his arms around the stormtrooper. Finn tensed up at the contact but Poe either ignored it or didn't notice.

"I'm sorry I tried to make you say it," Poe said softly, clearly on the verge of tears. Now with just one arm around him, he buried his head in Finn's shoulder. "You don't have to. I still love you, Finn, even if I'm the only one who says it."

Finn felt moisture on his shoulder through his black cotton t-shirt. Poe's old flying jacket was not there to cover his arms, as it had been slashed across the back and shoulder from Finn's fight on Starkiller. But Finn still wore it everywhere, tied around his waist for the time being until he could find something to repair it with.

Finn felt the other man blink a few tears away, and his mind suddenly raced. It was silent for a long time.

"Can… can I tell you why I love you?" Poe asked. Finn said nothing, so he continued. "I'll try not to make bad song references, but… you make me really happy. You're kind. And really brave. And BB-8, he likes you too." He laughed a little. "And I just don't know what I'd do without you. You saved my _life,_ Finn. I thought you were a goner when we crashed on Jakku, but when I saw you, I was just relieved I had a _chance_ of being with you, and the only thing I knew about you was your name. I was the one who gave it to you! And now that it's happening… I guess I couldn't ask for more."

Finn didn't say anything, but Poe wasn't even finished.

"And most of all, I know that no matter what, through wave after wave of those First Order thugs, you'll always be there for me. And I'll always be there for you. I promise."

The ex-stormtrooper swallowed hard and looked at him. "N- no matter what?" he whispered.

"You know it, buddy." His eyes still glistened a little with recent tears, but his smile was pure Poe Dameron.

Finn groaned, practically face-palming himself. " _Why is this so hard?_ I know I like you too. I really like being with you. You're fun, and exciting and brave. And so cute. Why can't I switch out one little word?"

"Because… you're Finn?" the other offered, lifting his head. "Not that I'm complaining; Finn is great."

Finn hesitated for a second. "What if I say it? Then it's not just for fun anymore, is it? Then we're playing for keeps. What if I said it, and it doesn't last? What if something happens; if we break up…" his voice was touched with anxiety, "if- _if the First Order came back for me_?"

"We would protect you, Finn," Poe assured him. "The Resistance is family."

"But what if you can't? We're at war, Poe, we could both still die! I don't want to never see you again."

Poe looked shocked for a second and Finn glanced away. The Rebel flier cupped his hand on Finn's cheek and made him meet his gaze.

"Finn, I said no matter _what_. We gotta focus on what we can control. Even if we're friends, or partners, or separated by the enemy, or _dead_ , I'm just glad I knew you. And I'm never gonna leave you behind, you understand?"

Finn nodded and blinked away a few tears.

"And you're never gonna leave me, right?" Poe asked, even though he knew the answer.

"Not even with a blaster to my head."

A small smile spread across Finn's face, just for a moment, giving Poe the go-ahead for his typical nonsense.

"There there." He smiled, beeping his nose into the stormtrooper's, infecting Finn with a little smile of his own. "Jeez, you're so emotional…"

Finn took a deep breath once more and closed his eyes. His heart was thumping in his chest, but part of him felt ready this time. "I… I love you," he whispered, ever so quietly.

There was a rush in him, a tingle… and all the dread disappeared.

Finn opened his eyes and straightened. "I love you," he said, his voice bright with the ability to say it. He laughed, and then Maker _knows_ what came over him next.

" _Finn loves Poe Dameron!"_ he shouted to the runway, thinking there was no one out on the platform to hear him.

" _No shit, Detective!"_ the unmistakable, sarcastic voice of Jessika Pava shouted back from the other end of the runway.

The two shared a surprised glance and fell into hysterical laughter, holding on to each other to keep from falling off the wing of the ship as the tension from earlier vanished. After a minute or two, Finn wiped jovial tears from his eyes as they started to recover.

"So did-" he fought off another bout of laughter. "So did everyone but me know I loved you?"

"Apparently," Poe replied, still struggling with aftershock chuckles. "I just can't believe you _shouted_ it out like that!" He succumbed to more laughter in the last leg of his sentence.

"I can't believe anyone's still out here," Finn said quietly, without any particular point to saying it.

"I hope you know you're stuck with me for life now," Poe reminded, moving to descend from the X-Wing.

Finn smiled, then took the collar of Poe's shirt and pulled the pilot towards him. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Now you're just getting cheesy."

"Sappy or not, I bet I can kiss better than you."

"No you can't."

"Wanna bet?"

Well, in the end, they both won.

* * *

 **Thank you for reading!**


End file.
